Right-wing yoga conspiracy nutjobs yesterday, Mullingar.
Following our groundbreaking expose of The Telegram hate cult, which described how feeble-minded paddies have been completely brainwashed by conspiracy nutjobs on the nefarious right-wing app, devastating new intelligence has come to light that many of the perpetrators of the misdisinformation about Covid are in fact…….. WOMEN!!!!! Not only that, but women doing…...YOGA!!!!!
Although not exclusive to Ireland, the yoga conspiracy cult has taken hold of our lady folk in the most diabolic of ways, and so it is time for The Covid Chronicle to flex its investigative muscles to find out how Ireland’s fairer sex has been bending the truth. We’ll be asana lot of pertinent questions about why these women felt they hatha spread so many lies and so much misdisinformation.
To understand properly this abomination, we must go back in history to a few months ago when Ireland experienced its own 9/11 terror event. In March of this year, brave Irish MEPs attempted to pass progressive laws which would make it possible again for the ordinary plebs on the street to book cheapie Ryanair flights to Benidorm and Torrymellinos.
Happy healthy vaxxers enjoing a spot of the sun in Benidorm yesterday.
While most of us literally wet ourselves at the prospect of a return to the sun, the sand and the sangria, a small few headcases in our midst saw an opportunity to spread their right-wing, anti-science, Covid-denying conspiracies and to scupper the prospect of a fortnight in the Algarve for the rest of us. Disgustingly, they used the popular electronic communication method of email to achieve their dark ends.
The emailing terror campaign meant many of our MEPs had to go to ground to escape the threat of constantly having the Irish constitution quoted at them by the anti-vax conspiracy nutjobs who flooded their inboxes. Some had to receive psychiatric help and may never recover.
What we did not know at that time, but what we do know now at this time (thanks to the courageous efforts of reporters Stephen McDermott of thejournal.ie and Conor Gallagher of The Irish TImes), is that 70% of these cowardly hate mails came from Irish WOMEN!
Brave Irish MEPs Frances Fitzgerald and Billy Kelleher take cover from the mad email terror deluge in Brussels.
Not only was the terror event organized by a lady (alt-right barrister Tracey O’Mahony) and egged on by another one (debunked conspiracy ‘scientist’ Dolores Cahill), but it appears that there were more females involved in this atrocity than you would expect to find in a Colonel Gaddafi security detail!
So how do we make sense of this phenomenon? To do so, we first need somebody who is up to the task of unravelling the complexities of the female mind. And, thankfully, in Conor Gallagher of The Irish Times, we have just the man for the job.
In one of the greatest pieces of investigative journalism the world has ever seen, Gallagher bravely looked beyond the pristine overbelly of yoga to discover its seedy underbelly: his investigation exposed many of the yoga and ‘wellness’ cults currently operating in Ireland and how they endeavour to brainwash our lady folk, to the extent that they will go on to write emails and letters to MEPS and TDs (with some even using registered post to do so!)
In his adroit article, Gallagher speaks to “Mairead, a health care worker in the Midlands”. However, she’s not actually called Mairead since she “asked that her real name not be used”. In fact, we don't even know for sure if she is indeed from the Midlands, but in fairness who would want to pretend they were?
The Midlands yesterday.
Anyway, this mystery woman who’s not called Mairead but who probably is actually from the Midlands, “began noticing last year that more and more of her friends who were involved in yoga, mindfulness and childcare had been sharing anti-vaccination views on Facebook.” ‘Mairead’ goes on to say that “the amount of anti-vax, lockdown conspiracy stuff was shocking”, so much so that she actually “logged off of Facebook.” Mairead, herself a woman, went on to reveal that “most of (her) friends sharing this information were women.”
Considering Facebook removes anti-vax opinions quicker than you could lick a stamp (except please don’t be tempted to do that with Covid and all!), it makes you wonder if Mairead was actually telling a porky when she said she was seeing a lot of this on the social media platform. Maybe she was confusing Facebook with the hate app Telegram!! Regardless of the source, Mairead (obviously in fear of her life since she was too scared to reveal her real name) makes an important connection: many of these women spouting conspiracy theories also do yoga. This connection is undeniable.
Luckily, Gallagher is not the type of journalist to rely only on one source and made sure he interviewed “another person”. This “person” is presumably so terrified they aren’t even brave enough to make up a fake name, or to say in which quarter of our fair Isle they reside. We do know, however, that this “person” is described by the gender specific pronoun ‘he’, so we may conclude it is a man and therefore someone who is unlikely to be a victim of the yoga brainwashing cult.
So distraught is Person that he has no problem stabbing a friend in the back by showing her tweets to an Irish Times journo who he’s never met before. Person’s friend is a “personal trainer” who compared Ireland’s Covid travel restrictions to the laws imposed by the Nazis on Jewish people. This is just wrong and deeply misleading: Ireland’s travel restrictions apply equally to all (unless you are a TD, Judge, member of NEPHET, Guard, Irish Times journalist, RTE employee, important business person, or you have some other quality which elevates you above the teeming masses).
Anyway, ‘person’ criticises his friend for “sharing an increasing amount of anti-vaccination material” and in a twist worthy of Alanis Morisette, states that the “funny thing is, she sells essential oils and can’t see the irony in being anti-vax (and that) she also had no issue taking lots of supplements when she was training regularly in the gym.”
Even though ‘person’, like Morisette, at some fundamental level completely fails to understand the concept of irony, his message is powerful and clear: his friend who works as a personal trainer in a gym is also a conspiracy nutjob. And what do we know for sure about gym workouts?.....That they often incorporate yoga moves such as ‘the plank’ or even ‘the cobra’. Are you now starting to understand, dear reader, how pervasive the problem is?
A crazed anti-vaxxer doing 'the cobra' or 'the plank' yesterday.
Gallaher goes on to interview some experts in the field who are actually brave enough to use their own names. Cecile Guerin, a researcher with The Institute for Strategic Dialogue, which featured heavily in our last article about the Telegram hate app, tells Gallagher “online spaces which tend to be more popular with women, such as yoga, wellness and homeopathic communities, have become a hotbed of Covid misinformation.” (The Covid Chronicle apologises profusely if we spelt her name wrong, but it was one of those Irish Times stories you can only listen to, you know the ones that are read out by that posh English robot woman who pronounces all the acronyms as words).
And wait for it, there’s even a word for it: ‘conspirituality’ which Guerin, who is also a qualified yoga teacher (but obviously not the dangerous, rightwing, anti-vax conspiracy type) described as ‘the intersection of spirituality and conspiracy theories.’ But really, anyone with a bit of cop on will know it’s one of those words you make up by combining two other words together, like ‘Bojo ’(Boris + Johnson) or ‘moobs’ (man + boobs).
Misdisinformation and conspiracy theories such as ‘big pharma are profiting from people’s misery’ or ‘your government doesn’t give a shit about you’ are rife in these communities, according to Guerin. And she should know since she teaches the bendy stuff herself, which just goes to add more weight to her claims! Even worse, people’s fears about vaccine side effects “were being hijacked by conspiracy theorists claiming global elites were using vaccinations to restrict our freedoms.”
The fact that global elites are introducing vaccine passports everywhere to make it EASIER to travel clearly demonstrates they want to ENHANCE our freedoms, not take them away, and that if a few feeble-minded conspiracy nutjobs and their repulsive offspring can’t take a Ryanair flight, go to the pub or have a meal in a restaurant, this is hardly a reason to get your knickers in a twist now, is it?
Entirely coincidentally, on exactly the same day The Irish Times published their damning expose of the ‘conspirituality’ yoga and wellness cults operating across Ireland, thejournal.ie published a very similar article titled: ‘My body, my choice: How some Irish wellness Instagram accounts became a hotbed of Covid-19 misinformation'.
In an actual ironic twist, brave journalist Stephen McDermott offers a damning ‘expose’ of former TV3 ‘Xpose’ presenter Aisling O’Loughlin. Xpose, possibly the greatest show to ever come out of Ireland (apart from ‘Keeping up with the Kardashians’) used to merrilly entertain us all with celebrity gossip and fashion and makeup advice. (Personally, I never would have found out about eyebrow threading if I hadn’t watched it!)
Xpose babes on the famous Xpose outdoor sofa before Aishling, picutured in green, started speaking French and conspiracising.
McDermott reports of O’Loughlin’s Instagram account that, after she was replaced as co-host of Xpose in 2017, “images of her smiling alongside celebrities or glamorously dressed on red carpets slowly disappeared”, to be replaced by photos of her family, French streets and French cats (not lolcats, mind).
The transformation culminated in April of this year, when O’Loughlin finally came out as a right-wing anti-vax conspiracy nut job, saying she was “against a two-tier society” and encouraging her followers to ask questions and have debates about the safety and efficacy of Covid 19 injections. Cunningly, as McDermott points out, O’Loughlin did this in a calm, rational way, “rather than posting angry diatribes against global elites.”
So how did our very own Aisling O’Loughlin fall from grace so abominably that she now promotes misleading hashtags like #justaskingquestions and #learntherisks?? Well, shocking new evidence has come to light that she may have become radicalised at a wellness yoga retreat she attended in the pretty town of Juan Les Pins in the South of France. The yoga retreat, called ‘Vive la Flexibilite’ is rumoured to be run by ex-Colonel Gadaffi bodyguards and uses a very specific brainwashing technique which radicalises the retreat goer as soon as she can successfully accomplish the ‘Warrior 3’ position.
Yoga instructors at 'Vive la Flexibilite' yesterday.
Even more worryingly, it would seem that the ringleader of last March’s email terror campaign, alt-right Barrister Tracey O’Mahony, may herself have become victim to brainwashing back when she was a hot (as in temperature) yoga instructor in Galway, as our Western correspondent, Belle Mullet, has uncovered.
So while it may be true that a few of our more feeble-minded men have also become victims of far-right anti-vax conspiracy propaganda, it is clear that it is our Irish women who are most at risk from this abomination. On that note, The Covid Chronicle, in conjunction with the Institute for Strategic Dialogue, has compiled a top 10 list of warning signs that your wife or girlfriend may have been led astray:
She’s stopped watching the Claire Byrne show.
She’s wearing sexy underwear out to her yoga classes (and even to her Zoom ones at home).
She has a topless photo of Ivor Cummins she uses as a screensaver on at least one device.
She seems to have zero interest in talking about Leo Varadkar and his partner’s new 800.000 Euro house (and even mutters expletives under her breath when you try to bring it up).
She’s painted over all those pebbles the kids did to support the HSE during the pandemic with black paint.
You’ve come home at least once and caught her watching Nigel Farage and Arlene Foster on GB News.
She keeps leaving the ‘I love Ryan Tubridy’ facemasks, which you lovingly had made for her, at home.
She’s stopped using ‘Uncle Ben’s’ and will only use the Quinoa her yoga teacher’s been flogging online (even though you all hate it).
She’ll only listen to music by Van Morrison or Eric Clapton.
Her ‘spa’ days all seem to coincide with far-right anti-vax conspiracy nutjob protests.
Conspirahunk Ivor Cummins: Keep him away from your missus!
While any of these warning signs should be cause for concern, if your wife or girlfriend has engaged in 3 or more of these aberrant behaviours, it is clear she has become radicalised and it will be necessary to have an intervention. Luckily, all you need to do is contact the Institute for Strategic Dialogue. Once you have explained your problem, they will furnish you with a list of ‘approved yoga courses’ you can send your wife or girlfriend to. Even better, Cecile Guerin herself is offering a special discount on her yoga re-programming course titled ‘Stepford Yoga’ which promises to deradicalise your missus or girlfriend in only 10 sessions. Cecile is offering a special 5% discount with the voucher code: YOGA SPOOKS 21 and proof of a vaccine passport.